The Internet's One-Stop Resource for Parents with Disabilities
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Submitted by Christine, who gave birth on August 4, 2000, in Holland. I started feeling my contractions. At 1:30am I started being woken up by the contractions and by 2:15am they were 15 minutes apart. By the time we were dressed, we were at the hospital by 4:00am. I was 5 centimeters dilated. The pain from the contractions were not as bad as the pain I was having in my hip so they gave me a small pain killer and I was able to sleep. Drifting in and out of sleep, I talked to the doctor and an intern I had seen in his office, and learned he was studying to be a cardiologist. He politely asked if he could be there when I delivered our son. Since I knew him from office visits, I said sure. At 1:00pm, I suddenly awoke by the voice of a nurse who was telling my husband, Johannes she didn't think I could push the baby out myself and that she discussed it with one of the other doctors and she was going to use forceps to help me. I sat up, and said, "No! I'll do it myself!" and went back to sleep. We think she checked with my doctor because the subject was dropped. While she fiddled with my drip, she also told us how busy it was that day and that I was scheduled to be next - which meant 2pm. Sure enough, at 2:00pm I opened my eyes and told my husband I had to push. He said, "you can't, there's no one here." I had just told him to get someone when the nurse, intern and doctor came in. It took an hour which they say is normal for the first child. The intern helped lift me and said, "Boy is she strong!" People here still assume the disabled are weak and can't do for themselves! That was my biggest problem when we came home. After the three of us were in the hospital for the weekend because their policy is to keep the baby for observation if the water breaks more than 48 hours before. It is also policy that every woman who has a baby gets help at home from the government for ten days. They come in and clean the house, check on you, and the baby. I was assigned two women to do this. On the first day, they didn't even ask what I wanted done. For the first time since I moved here, I had no control of what happened in my own home. I even found them mixing my light colored wash with my whites! Johannes explained to them that I needed to do things with them and not just me relying on them. The second day with them was better and they started to see I can do for myself and my son. However, the second day also brought two doctors into my house who came to check on me and the first thing they said when they saw me in my wheelchair was "She needs help. She can?t bathe him, she can't take care of him." All this made me very depressed and I lost all my self confidence. I had no interest in life anymore. When I went shopping in town, with my wheelchair, I wondered what it would feel like to be hit by a car. It was as if someone turned out all the lights and I was in the dark. I even had a dream I was falling into a pit. I shared all this with Johannes and he understood and said he would build up my self confidence again. The women blamed my crying on hormones. What my husband did was, stayed home a few days, worked in the basement while I stayed upstairs making believe he wasn't there as I took care of our son. I now have a woman come in two hours a day five days a week to clean my house so I can concentrate on the baby. Something good did come out of all this though, in the time that the two women were here, they learned that I did things differently but got the job done and made a video of me giving the baby a bath. I do this while sitting on the floor. The video the women were going to use within their organization to teach the others not to assume the disabled are unable. Yesterday I asked if the woman would come three days instead of five so I have two days to see if I can handle everything on my own. Before I became pregnant, I took care of the house and my husband all on my own and I want that back! Christine |
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My water broke on August 2nd at 7:30am but I didn't feel any
contractions. I waited until I didn't have to run to the bathroom anymore,
and then we went to the hospital for a checkup. They hooked me up to the CTG
machine (as they call the contraction monitor in Dutch) and said my
contractions were really small. The doctor felt them, but I didn't so we
wondered if I would feel them at all. It was now 12:00pm and they sent me home
saying that if the baby didn't come by Friday, they would induce me on Saturday
morning. I had an appointment with my OB/GYN the next morning anyway. By 7:30pm
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